With 15 minutes to spare, I've decided to show the world how naive I am capable of when it comes to certain things in life. I know I'm digging my own grave here but that's the least of my concerns. Gotta get these rantings out of my system before I break down due to the lack of space in my limited brain compartment.
Lately, I've come to the conclusion that I'm a big time wimp. Ass wipe. Ok, that's degrading. I'll change that to "useless lump of sugar". Yeah, definitely sounds better. Erm..I've realised that I was never deeply involved in anything. Never truly liked anything. Never truly wanted anything. Never truly fought for anything. I'm a living, breathing monster of nothingness.
People with passion is a beautiful piece of artwork. They have their dreams. They are very driven. Why? Because of passion. They are passionate about certain things and therefore these things matter to them. And because it matters, they think and believe that it's worth striving for. It's worth spending hours and hours of their days working on it, reaching their goal. Not to mention the sacrifices they are willing to give, the costs being the least of their concerns. Oh man, I salute these people.
But then again, i don't intend to kiss ass or to be someone i don't want to be. But that's beside the point. The point i'm trying to point out is that I need to truly seek for myself once again. I thought i was done but I'm wrong. People grow everyday hence soul searching is just like a anti-virus database. It needs to be updated all the time.
Ladida. I'm dull. Who am i to say this? I have every right. I've never truly pursued anything before. And as for my position as a singleton in an urban jungle, I realised i'm a wuss. It's always been excuses when it comes to relationships. No, I'm having my exam. No, I don't think I'm ready. No this. No that. It's pathetic. I'm a wuss. One day, I'm gonna take that big, big step towards the biggest cliche in the whole universe, Love. Reason is simple. It's high time for this idiot here to experience it. Shame on me for never ever truly liking anyone. I mean i do get to that stage, but the passion..where is it? I so lack it. Shame on me for not having to love someone with the whole of my heart. They say once bitten, twice shy. That doesn't even apply to me. I'd keep thinking that if one day, someone would say to me, "Don't be afraid. I'm gonna go with you in this all the way. Step by step" I would most certainly feel more confident.
But that would be less meaningful, wouldn't it? Things like that needs to come from within one's self. Then only can you be proud of yourself. To be able to savor what you've strove for.
Passion comes from the heart. I need to have a heart. Maybe all i need is a key...