Monday, August 28, 2006
My heart is at home..
After nearly 3 months being semi-locked up in Eusoff Hall, I finally get to go home. Yea, yea it's old news already but up yours! I can blog about it anytime i want. Bleh~
This time around going home has a special significance to me. I cannot be precise here. No lah, not because i don't want to disclose the reason BUT more like because i cannot pinpoint what's the significance exactly myself. I just feel it in my heart. Of course, of course, going home has always been special. Let me be long-winded here, it's just different this time around.
Everything is still the same back home. Thank God for that. It has such a nice calming effect on me, like telling me that this place will always be ready to welcome me, no matter what. Something permanent. Security. Warmth.
Home is all goodness. Totally wholesome. As for my parents..still cool for their age :)
Yet it is still painful for me. The entire time I was back, my late-Snowy is everywhere with me. I sit on the sofa, half expecting to feel my dog's presence. I walk out to the garden, waiting for him to scramble over to me. I walk pass the side door, hoping he'd peek in on me. I left home for the bus station, thinking he would come to give me a final lick.
I ended up leaving home saying Goodbye to thin air. Hoping he would hear me.
Previously I came home to his death. This time I came home to deal the loss and the memories. Perhaps the next time he would be able to rest in peace in my heart.
Posted by Berenice at 9:22 PM